Work In Progress

I had a visit with my Grandma A. over the weekend and have realized that I have a long way to go in my quest to be as gracious as her and my own mother.

I've been doing some self reflection quite a bit lately for a couple of different reasons.
Mainly, I've been thinking about the difference between "being myself" vs. being a more controlled listener and reactor.

I remember my Mom telling me that the 30's were going to be hard, and I think I get what she meant now.

At what point (or age?) does a person get to just be themselves? Also, what if you're not that great of a person? I personally know people who just say whatever the heck they want, even if it offends other people, and use the excuse of "well, I'm just honest."
On the other hand, some people don't speak their opinion at all and, in some cases, get walked all over.

The people I admire are smart, good listeners, politically secure but not in your face, and only give a soft and guiding opinion when asked for their opinion.

The hard part, for me, is that I really am opinionated. The irony to this is that I rarely give my real, true opinion and it still probably comes across too strong.
I have never been accused of being a wall flower - let's just put it that way.

Part of my problem is that I react to quickly to other people's "stuff" - their complaining, mostly. Or, I get to the point where someone has said something I disagree with to me so many times I finally give in and let them have it. My Grandma or Mom would never do that. It's that word again: gracious.

I guess having a personality such as mine (passionate??) can sometimes be daunting.