Here's the thing Bill and I, literally, decided before we had kids:
They would come into our lives, enrich it, and hold on for the ride.
I really don't get the whole "I'm a totally different person than I was before I had kids" thing.
It's like, uh, no you're not.
I mean, yes, we definitely make different choices.
We definitely have different priorities.
We're definitely too tired to keep up with our old lifestyle.
BUT, it's O.K. to still want to have fun.
It's O.K. to want a night for yourself.
It's O.K. to want a night with your spouse....alone.
It's O.K. get dressed up and go out with your friends.
I feel like there's this hierarchy of motherhood - like the more you "sacrifice" the better parent you are.
So stupid.
If you are one of those people who stops everything once you have kids, great.
Good luck with that.
I am SO not like you.
I'm not going to say that I haven't felt guilty for taking time for myself, or going out and having cocktails with my friends. I have, but I shouldn't.
My point is: enjoy your kids, but enjoy your life too. And don't judge me if you see me at the bar :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Man in the Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgement upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
He's the fellow to please never mind all the rest
For he's with you, clear to the end
And you've passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgement upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
He's the fellow to please never mind all the rest
For he's with you, clear to the end
And you've passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.
Monday, January 17, 2011
The First of Many
I am going to be one heckuva hot mess when my girls get older.
They are going to have lots and lots of friends and not want to have anything to do with me.
Let me back up....
So, on Saturday afternoon I took Cecelia and Delaney to open skate for CeCe's girl scouts. It started off O.K. - the girls needed my help to get things moving and to find their friends.
CeCe immediately took off - which I totally expected.
Delaney was chasing me around.....until....one of the Dads (that she's met before) skated over and started pushing her on the chair.
But that's not the bad part.
Her and I were skating around and she fell. She immediately started to cry and I helped her help and consoled her and tried to get her to skate again. That's when "The Dad" skated by to see what was wrong.
And that's when she ditched me.
For the rest of the time she only wanted to skate with "him."
At one point I was just kind of standing there watching her hold his hand and skate around.
She didn't want to have anything to do with me.
I don't know what it is about that girl, but she just really loves dudes. She's nothing of a mommy's girl and it makes me feel like she doesn't like me sometimes.
I don't want to be one of those Moms who care a little too much about being their child's best friend, but I don't want to be left in their dust trails either.
Is it time for a puppy, perhaps??
They are going to have lots and lots of friends and not want to have anything to do with me.
Let me back up....
So, on Saturday afternoon I took Cecelia and Delaney to open skate for CeCe's girl scouts. It started off O.K. - the girls needed my help to get things moving and to find their friends.
CeCe immediately took off - which I totally expected.
Delaney was chasing me around.....until....one of the Dads (that she's met before) skated over and started pushing her on the chair.
But that's not the bad part.
Her and I were skating around and she fell. She immediately started to cry and I helped her help and consoled her and tried to get her to skate again. That's when "The Dad" skated by to see what was wrong.
And that's when she ditched me.
For the rest of the time she only wanted to skate with "him."
At one point I was just kind of standing there watching her hold his hand and skate around.
She didn't want to have anything to do with me.
I don't know what it is about that girl, but she just really loves dudes. She's nothing of a mommy's girl and it makes me feel like she doesn't like me sometimes.
I don't want to be one of those Moms who care a little too much about being their child's best friend, but I don't want to be left in their dust trails either.
Is it time for a puppy, perhaps??
Friday, January 14, 2011
The Year of Magical Thinking
I recently read an interview with Heath Ledgers widow - Michelle something or other - and she made reference to this "year of magical thinking" while talking about the grief she carries over the loss of her husband.
What I understood about it is that people sometimes miss that first year of grieving - because you are living your life with this sort of magical thinking that the person could still walk in the front door.
She said that time has not healed but just proven that he is indeed gone.
The book "The Year of Magical Thinking" has mixed reviews, but I did find something interesting while reading an interview with the author:
"Do you feel like there's something about grief that's timeless? Obviously you go on with your life, but there's a part of you that stays raw."
Dedicated.
I think part of you doesn't want to let go of it because then you're letting go of the person.
It's always a part of you. No matter how much you reconstruct your life and make a new life, I still think that there is room for part of you to always be aware that this happened. To always have a part of you grieving. Maybe it's part of being mortal–by "mortal" I don't mean doomed to die but being a human being.
Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/2006/04/Joan-Didion-Grief-Becomes-A-Part-Of-You.aspx?p=2#ixzz1B2ODdvIJ
What I understood about it is that people sometimes miss that first year of grieving - because you are living your life with this sort of magical thinking that the person could still walk in the front door.
She said that time has not healed but just proven that he is indeed gone.
The book "The Year of Magical Thinking" has mixed reviews, but I did find something interesting while reading an interview with the author:
"Do you feel like there's something about grief that's timeless? Obviously you go on with your life, but there's a part of you that stays raw."
Dedicated.
I think part of you doesn't want to let go of it because then you're letting go of the person.
It's always a part of you. No matter how much you reconstruct your life and make a new life, I still think that there is room for part of you to always be aware that this happened. To always have a part of you grieving. Maybe it's part of being mortal–by "mortal" I don't mean doomed to die but being a human being.
Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/2006/04/Joan-Didion-Grief-Becomes-A-Part-Of-You.aspx?p=2#ixzz1B2ODdvIJ
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Children
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a Mom.
I wanted a little baby that was all mine.
It's so hard to look back in the pre-children era and remember my thoughts on anything.
I have NO idea what I thought parenthood was going to be like.
The only thought I remember was invisioning my family sitting around, watching movies, playing games and traveling.
I don't think I really gave much thought at all to the day to day stuff (other than I was going to teach my children multiple languages - HA!).
There are some really fun times that come along with being a parent - the list is, literally, endless.
But there are such struggles along the way - and I know I'm preaching to the choir here.
I wish someone would have told me about the highs and lows:
*Your child saying something funny or saying they love you....vs.....having to tell your child 50 thousand flippin' times to 'get your jammies on, get your jammies on, get YOUR jammies on, I told you 3 times to get your jammies on, I swear.to.God if you don't get your jammies on!!!"......
You get the gist.
Right now I would say the thing that drives me the most crazy is the crying and yelling. Perhaps it's because I have all girls, but it is enough to make your ears bleed.
Delaney and Laila seem to be at the same emotional age right now, which I don't get at all. By the time Cecelia turned 4 things got so much easier.
To be honest, if it wasn't for Cecelia being such a good girl I would really start to question my parenting abilities (not that I don't already, I guess).
Please, please, someone tell me that eventually we will all be able to communicate in a normal, inside voice, without crying way??
What's the thing that drives you the most crazy in your house?
I wanted a little baby that was all mine.
It's so hard to look back in the pre-children era and remember my thoughts on anything.
I have NO idea what I thought parenthood was going to be like.
The only thought I remember was invisioning my family sitting around, watching movies, playing games and traveling.
I don't think I really gave much thought at all to the day to day stuff (other than I was going to teach my children multiple languages - HA!).
There are some really fun times that come along with being a parent - the list is, literally, endless.
But there are such struggles along the way - and I know I'm preaching to the choir here.
I wish someone would have told me about the highs and lows:
*Your child saying something funny or saying they love you....vs.....having to tell your child 50 thousand flippin' times to 'get your jammies on, get your jammies on, get YOUR jammies on, I told you 3 times to get your jammies on, I swear.to.God if you don't get your jammies on!!!"......
You get the gist.
Right now I would say the thing that drives me the most crazy is the crying and yelling. Perhaps it's because I have all girls, but it is enough to make your ears bleed.
Delaney and Laila seem to be at the same emotional age right now, which I don't get at all. By the time Cecelia turned 4 things got so much easier.
To be honest, if it wasn't for Cecelia being such a good girl I would really start to question my parenting abilities (not that I don't already, I guess).
Please, please, someone tell me that eventually we will all be able to communicate in a normal, inside voice, without crying way??
What's the thing that drives you the most crazy in your house?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Our Friends
When she was born I decided she looked like Victoria Beckham - or "Posh". Yeah, total supermodel.
Steph and her husband, Bryant, were the first friend's of Bill's that I glommed on to. They were both super fun and super crazy - which is my favorite combonation.
The four of us spent a lot of time together once Bill and I moved to the cities. I mean, a lot.
Steph became my total BFF and was the Matron of Honor at our wedding.
The Coopers moved away the summer after Cecelia was born and Steph and I each popped out more baby girls while they were living in Colorado (Delaney & Nola).
Luckily for ME, they moved back to MN so that we could have friends again.
I had another girl (Laila) and then the day before our annual camping trip 2009 the Coops found out they were pregnant - again!
Being part of 'Team Girl' they had no choice but to produce another perfect baby girl, who you see above. This sweet angel is Carolyn.
Christmas weekend this little nugget went through not one, but two, liver transplants.
Words cannot express the feeling of anxiousness we have been feeling for them through this ordeal. To have a sick child basically living in the hospital and fighting for her first year of life has taken over their world.
I spoke with Steph today and it looks like they are going to be bringing Carolyn home this weekend!
I just want to say that I am SO happy for all of them - Bryant, Steph, Nola and Carolyn - that they get to have some real family time spent in their own home finally.
My friends have been at the forefront of my mind on a regular basis and so I thought you should know their story.
Now our hopes for them is that Carolyn gets to come home and continue to just get better and better....
Go Carolyn!!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Speaking of Gross
So I made this Pad Thai in a box thing for lunch today for myself. Delaney asked to look at it after it was done "cooking" in the microwave and says "It looks like worms with puke on it."
It did.
And it kinda smelled gross.
So, I threw it away and had Ramons instead.
Then, as I was walking around the house like the Huntchback of Notre Dame picking things up off the floor I - somehow - jammed a sharp piece of cardboard (cuz that's what's on my floor, apparently) into the skin under my nail. Ow!
My life is wierd.
It did.
And it kinda smelled gross.
So, I threw it away and had Ramons instead.
Then, as I was walking around the house like the Huntchback of Notre Dame picking things up off the floor I - somehow - jammed a sharp piece of cardboard (cuz that's what's on my floor, apparently) into the skin under my nail. Ow!
My life is wierd.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Okay?
Laila is now classifying her poop in 3 ways:
A Daddy poop.
or
A Mommy poop.
or
A little poop.
Atleast I know what to expect ahead of time......
A Daddy poop.
or
A Mommy poop.
or
A little poop.
Atleast I know what to expect ahead of time......
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Cecelia's 7th Birthday
I took Cecelia to the Mall of America on her birthday so she could get her FREE Nick. Universe ride wristband and we made a whole day out of it.
First she wanted to eat - out of all the restaurants in the entire MOA - at McDonald's
After that, we went on some rides. Then we shopped - Cecelia picked out an outfit for her "American Girl" doll (that I know Santa actually picked up at Target for 20 bucks) at the American Girl store.
We did some other shopping and then....she got her ears pierced!!!
I feel like it's a bigger deal for me than her. Every time I look at her I can't believe she's so grown up.
The next day was her big friend party. The kids had a great time and I think she felt really special.
I love my Cecelia down to the deepest core of my heart. What a gift.
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