Daughter's Prayer - Tina Fey

"First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her ;
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes."

— Tina Fey (Bossypants)

Hello Sunshine!

Step Stool

Last night I got up in the night to use the bathroom. Everywhere you go there's some sort of obstacle - like the step stool in the bathroom. I'm so used to it I can walk around it even in the dark.
I thought for a moment about how wierd it will be when the step stools and drawer locks and door knob covers are gone.
Then I had this image of Cecelia when she was about 1 1/2 climbing up on the step stool for the first few times to get her hair brushed or teeth brushed.
The emotions took over me like a wave. A huge, suffocating wave.

I don't know WHY I get these feelings of nastalgia so bad. There's so much guilt about how I have taken them for granted, or wished away the "hard" ages.
I had this split second of thinking I should have another child, but I know in reality that's not going to happen. And, that child would also grow up.

Thank God I still have many, many, many years with my children at home.

Today is supposed to be the first nice day in I-don't-know how long and I plan to savor every minute of it.

Best Dad Ever

The girls took their Dad to Mickey's Diner and the MN History Center for Father's Day. I think everybody had fun.
We had dinner at Dick and Nancy's and even though Dick didn't get to sit back and relax on his special day the rest of us were grateful for all the hard work and wonderful dinner he made for us!

And just to tell you how cool of a Dad that Bill is: when we got home I had to get some groceries and while I was gone Cecelia needed help changing her earrings. She first told Bill that she wanted to wait for me to come home, but then Bill told her he could help. He put her earrings in and she didn't feel a thing so she looked up at him and smiled and said "how did YOU learn how to do that?"
I thought that was so sweet and just goes to show that those three young ladies have it so good!!

Uncle Dave, Erin, and Other Things

Well, this past week we had some fun visitors! My brother and his girlfriend came up for a wedding in Iowa over the weekend and tacked a couple of extra days on to spend with us!
We tried to sit by the Lake (Minnetonka) for dinner the first night, but the MN weather did not cooperate - shocking! - so we ended up in the warm indoors instead.
We BBQ'd and beached and played - it was a lot of fun. Dad and Mare came Sunday/Monday to see them so it was an extra special treat for us to have them here as well.
We're in the process of fixing up the porch and the new windows are now installed! It's still a hot mess in there and probably won't be "perfect" until the end of the summer. I guess it's true what they say about home projects - always costs twice as much and takes twice as long.
I had to take a picture of my cousin, Becca, and Clare's Vivi since Vivi is wearing an outfit all three of my girls wore. So sweet, both of them.
And, lastly, a picture of Laila who found a medicine cup and old pacifier to style herself in.
It's always a party in the Heer house.

Memorial Weekend/Birthday Pics

Delaney's 5th Birthday

Our Delaney is a young soul. She has a tender heart and eager eyes. She likes to talk and talk and talk when she's at home, but if often very shy and quiet when out of her element. We are working on being polite enough to answer people when they talk to her, but she seems to get embarrased and clam up.
She doesn't really love school, but she loves her teachers and likes to be affectionate with them - giving lots of hugs. She's not to be bothered with learning letters and numbers when there are other things to learn. Her favorite kind of learning is more about nature and animals. She likes to ask lots of questions and LOVES when something "clicks" and she masters a bit of trivia. She will show her satisfaction with the b-i-g-g-e-s-t smile you have ever seen.
She likes to rest a lot and cuddle a lot. She's very picky about what she eats even when it comes to sweets. She's sensitive to smell and is not afraid to tell you that your breath stinks.
She admires Cecelia and nurtures Laila. She doesn't like it when Bill or I are gone, she much prefers we are all together all the time.
Delaney loves her extended family too and often reminisces about things we've done with this uncle, or that grandparent, or this cousin.
Her 4th year was not our best year. Her and I butted heads quite a bit as I expected her to want to be more independent and she wasn't ready. She is not the kind of kid to jump at the chance to be the helper or do things on her own. Delaney is going at a slower pace and it took me almost the whole year to figure that out. She's still very much a little girl. I almost worry about sending her to kindergarten in the fall, but I know she is ready and will thrive in her own special way.

Now that spring is here we do a lot of driving around with the windows open. Delaney seems to go to a happy place when we're driving - she likes the music up and she always faces the wind with her little smile, like she's taking all the good things in.
And when I was cleaning house with the music on and I found her just sitting on the porch in the rocking chair holding Pearl. She sat out there for the longest time, in the quiet, listening to the rain and looking out  the window.
This is the peaceful counterpart to the Delaney who cries at the drop of a hat. I get so frustrated with that part and when I find her being so sweet it makes me feel bad for not always consoling her when she's upset. She's just a little bit more emotional than most and I need to just accept it.

Of course - and I say this about all my girls - she is beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. Unique.
She is perfect just the way she is and no amount of words could ever capture all of who she is.

To our funny, curly-haired, brown eyed ray of sunshine:
Happy 5th Birthday to you....with all our love.