Give them lots of candy!
Although I typically like scary costumes for Halloween, the girls insisted on being princesses (again). With the exception of Laila - who is a Ladybug.
Can't wait until Friday!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
In Response
In response to my own Hot Topic.
Yes, I was spanked as a child. I do remember it hurting and I, most definitely, remember wanting to avoid it at all costs. I'd have to ask my parents whether or not it curbed the unwanted behavior. Probably not.
We were spanked for various reasons - of which I cannot really remember. I'm sure lying to our parents was a biggie.
Mostly, though, we were grounded if we got in to trouble (especially me!).
I do not spank my children. I use time-outs. Everything that I learned in college in regards to child development proved that spanking is just as ineffective as any other punishments we dole out. What matters most is consistency. Eventually kids will outgrow certain unwanted behaviors.
And for the the stuff that they never outgrow? I'm still learning. For me, discipline means to teach, not punish. For most unwanted behaviors distraction and redirection works best - especially with the younger ones (around 2 years old).
For the older kids I use negative reinforcement. I will take away your favorite Barbie, then your book, then your dress-up shoes, etc, etc.
When the kids fight I separate them from eachother - and the thing they are fighting over.
(I guess I went too far on this part of the topic).
It is not to say that I have never swatted the behind of any of my children (because I have), or never placed them firmly in to time out (because I have). It's just that if I can use another technique other than spanking that is just as effective, than I will avoid hitting my child for no real reason.
Do I care if someone else spanks their child? Not really. I try not to get involved with other people's business unless someone is being put in harms way.
I think that was it for the Hot Topic.
I'll post a little something more light-hearted next - maybe some pictures of the girls in their costumes.
Yes, I was spanked as a child. I do remember it hurting and I, most definitely, remember wanting to avoid it at all costs. I'd have to ask my parents whether or not it curbed the unwanted behavior. Probably not.
We were spanked for various reasons - of which I cannot really remember. I'm sure lying to our parents was a biggie.
Mostly, though, we were grounded if we got in to trouble (especially me!).
I do not spank my children. I use time-outs. Everything that I learned in college in regards to child development proved that spanking is just as ineffective as any other punishments we dole out. What matters most is consistency. Eventually kids will outgrow certain unwanted behaviors.
And for the the stuff that they never outgrow? I'm still learning. For me, discipline means to teach, not punish. For most unwanted behaviors distraction and redirection works best - especially with the younger ones (around 2 years old).
For the older kids I use negative reinforcement. I will take away your favorite Barbie, then your book, then your dress-up shoes, etc, etc.
When the kids fight I separate them from eachother - and the thing they are fighting over.
(I guess I went too far on this part of the topic).
It is not to say that I have never swatted the behind of any of my children (because I have), or never placed them firmly in to time out (because I have). It's just that if I can use another technique other than spanking that is just as effective, than I will avoid hitting my child for no real reason.
Do I care if someone else spanks their child? Not really. I try not to get involved with other people's business unless someone is being put in harms way.
I think that was it for the Hot Topic.
I'll post a little something more light-hearted next - maybe some pictures of the girls in their costumes.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Hot Topic
Just for youknowwhats and giggles I have decided to post a Hot Topic. I've been reading other blogs floating around out there with more of an edgy, made -ya- think sort of twist to them and thought I'd give it a try. That, and, Bonnie requested more posts (hey, us Moms at home need to stick together).
The topic for today: Spanking.
I did not hand pick this topic out of the air, it actually came up in a conversation with a Mom/Friend of mine this week.
To sort of switch it up I will refrain from posting my opinion on the issue until I hear what others have to say.
What I will do, though, is post the stance that the AAP has on the issue.
It is as follows:
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that if punishment is needed, alternatives to spanking should be used.
Although most Americans were spanked as children, we now know that it has several important side effects.
It may seem to work at the moment, but it is no more effective in changing behavior than a time-out.
Spanking increases children's aggression and anger instead of teaching responsibility.
Parents may intend to stay calm but often do not, and regret their actions later.
Because most parents do not want to spank, they are less likely to be consistent.
Spanking makes other consequences less effective, such as those used at child care or school. Gradually, even spanking loses its impact.
Spanking can lead to physical struggles and even escalate to the point of harming the child.
Children who continue to be spanked are more likely to be depressed, use alcohol, have more anger, hit their own children, approve of and hit their spouses, and engage in crime and violence as adults.
These results make sense since spanking teaches the child that causing others pain is justified to control them—even with those they love.
What is your personal rule on the spanking issue? Were you spanked as a child? Do you spank your children? Why or why not?
Are you O.K. with other people spanking their children? Do you not believe in spanking but are fine with other physical type punishments?
Discuss.
The topic for today: Spanking.
I did not hand pick this topic out of the air, it actually came up in a conversation with a Mom/Friend of mine this week.
To sort of switch it up I will refrain from posting my opinion on the issue until I hear what others have to say.
What I will do, though, is post the stance that the AAP has on the issue.
It is as follows:
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that if punishment is needed, alternatives to spanking should be used.
Although most Americans were spanked as children, we now know that it has several important side effects.
It may seem to work at the moment, but it is no more effective in changing behavior than a time-out.
Spanking increases children's aggression and anger instead of teaching responsibility.
Parents may intend to stay calm but often do not, and regret their actions later.
Because most parents do not want to spank, they are less likely to be consistent.
Spanking makes other consequences less effective, such as those used at child care or school. Gradually, even spanking loses its impact.
Spanking can lead to physical struggles and even escalate to the point of harming the child.
Children who continue to be spanked are more likely to be depressed, use alcohol, have more anger, hit their own children, approve of and hit their spouses, and engage in crime and violence as adults.
These results make sense since spanking teaches the child that causing others pain is justified to control them—even with those they love.
What is your personal rule on the spanking issue? Were you spanked as a child? Do you spank your children? Why or why not?
Are you O.K. with other people spanking their children? Do you not believe in spanking but are fine with other physical type punishments?
Discuss.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
First Things First
My niece was born today: Emma Grace Feske. 7 pounds 7 ounces.
My 3rd niece, but first from my side of the family. I am BEYOND excited for Jimmy and Megan.
When Jim called this morning - first I screamed, then I cried. It is such a beautiful thing to have your first child enter the world. Nothing like it.
At any rate, I'm sure she's perfect and am waiting on pictures from Jimmy.
Real quick, our weekend in Moorhead was really, really fun! We got to see almost everybody from my family as well as most of our friends. We went out, learned how to play Wii (thanks Mike and Andrea - now we are addicted!), played with all the kids we don't often see, played with adults we don't often see, saw Kris's store and bought the cutest Halloween outfit for Laila (pics to follow on that too), we saw Grandpa and Grandma's new house, Jill's new furniture, Dad and Marilyn's remodel....we stayed at Dad's and Melissa's!! O my gosh, the list goes on and on.
All in all a perfect weekend with family and old friends.
This week, so far, Bill was invited to go on the Mortenson annual pheasant hunt in South Dakota over the weekend. Guess that leaves out the Pumpkin Patch for this year. So much to do....so little time.
We've got it worked out though - I'll take the girls to Nanny and Poppa's (Bill's parents) on Saturday to hang out and play in their costumes and Nancy will watch the girls on Sunday while I work. I mean, really, what would we do without Grandparents??
Hopefully I'll get another chance to post this week with some pictures of baby Emma.
My 3rd niece, but first from my side of the family. I am BEYOND excited for Jimmy and Megan.
When Jim called this morning - first I screamed, then I cried. It is such a beautiful thing to have your first child enter the world. Nothing like it.
At any rate, I'm sure she's perfect and am waiting on pictures from Jimmy.
Real quick, our weekend in Moorhead was really, really fun! We got to see almost everybody from my family as well as most of our friends. We went out, learned how to play Wii (thanks Mike and Andrea - now we are addicted!), played with all the kids we don't often see, played with adults we don't often see, saw Kris's store and bought the cutest Halloween outfit for Laila (pics to follow on that too), we saw Grandpa and Grandma's new house, Jill's new furniture, Dad and Marilyn's remodel....we stayed at Dad's and Melissa's!! O my gosh, the list goes on and on.
All in all a perfect weekend with family and old friends.
This week, so far, Bill was invited to go on the Mortenson annual pheasant hunt in South Dakota over the weekend. Guess that leaves out the Pumpkin Patch for this year. So much to do....so little time.
We've got it worked out though - I'll take the girls to Nanny and Poppa's (Bill's parents) on Saturday to hang out and play in their costumes and Nancy will watch the girls on Sunday while I work. I mean, really, what would we do without Grandparents??
Hopefully I'll get another chance to post this week with some pictures of baby Emma.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Weekend Update.
Before I get started I have to clear up one thing. I realize I may put too much of my life out here online, but besides some really helpful comments, I see that others of you still have yet to learn blog comment etiquette. I always appreciate debate and thoughtful insights, but never care for downright rudeness, which for some reason people seem to think they can do since they are posting anonymously. Because "someone" had to ruin it for the rest of you I will no longer accept anonymous comments. You will have to have an user ID and take responsibility for what you say.
There, done.
Our weekend, in a nutshell, what very nice and relaxing. Friday night we had family night in. Bill went to get a haircut and I ordered pizza so we could have a picnic in the living room and watch a movie together (picnic idea from my Aunt Jill). Saturday Bill went pheasant hunting bright and early. The girls and I stayed in our PJs until noon and just cuddled up, enjoyed our breakfast and time home alone. After lunch I took the girls to the park because it was an absolutely perfect day!! We all had fun, except Laila, who screamed bloody murder the entire walk back from the park. I guess you really can't please everybody...
When the girls woke up from their nap Bill was home so we played out back for the rest of the afternoon.
Saturday night we cuddled up again, made popcorn and had another family game and movie night.
Yesterday we did run a few errands - the usual, Menards/Target - to get the essentials for the week.
Having a low key weekend at home was just what the doctor ordered. Thank you to Mother Nature for getting the memo.
Next weekend....Moorhead!
There, done.
Our weekend, in a nutshell, what very nice and relaxing. Friday night we had family night in. Bill went to get a haircut and I ordered pizza so we could have a picnic in the living room and watch a movie together (picnic idea from my Aunt Jill). Saturday Bill went pheasant hunting bright and early. The girls and I stayed in our PJs until noon and just cuddled up, enjoyed our breakfast and time home alone. After lunch I took the girls to the park because it was an absolutely perfect day!! We all had fun, except Laila, who screamed bloody murder the entire walk back from the park. I guess you really can't please everybody...
When the girls woke up from their nap Bill was home so we played out back for the rest of the afternoon.
Saturday night we cuddled up again, made popcorn and had another family game and movie night.
Yesterday we did run a few errands - the usual, Menards/Target - to get the essentials for the week.
Having a low key weekend at home was just what the doctor ordered. Thank you to Mother Nature for getting the memo.
Next weekend....Moorhead!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Little Miss Negative
That's Me. Little Miss Negative.
But here's why:
I am very busy with 3 small children. I do daycare Monday through Friday and wait tables on Sunday. I take 4 children with me 3 days a week to drop off and pick up Cecelia from preschool. I am the CEO of my household. In other words, cleaning, bill paying, cooking, project doing, winter preparing, laundry, feeding, diaper changing, phone answering and over all bossing around.
I am in a serious state of "It's All About Me."
There are a ton of people out there who help me out and make my life a lot easier. There are people who love me and love my family. In turn, I hope that they feel I do the same for them. If you're not sure let me just state for the record that I love you and am here for you if there is ever anything you need.
I'm trying to soak in this time with my family. I want them to be healthy, happy and rested.
In order for things to run smoothly I sometimes have to just say that I'm sorry, but I can't be everything for everyone. My family comes first.
I hope that it makes sense that I want to be flexible, but not at the expense of my own sanity.
I just look at those pictures above and remind myself that this time is finite and that it's OK to say no.
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