And They Call Her: Number Two

So, even though I have been learning the Mommy ropes with Cecelia there are actually quite a few things that I have learned from having another child. Almost all of these lessons have to do with me letting things go and letting my children be the little scientists they are and explore the world around them.

The picture of Delaney in the hi-chair got me to thinking about how when Cecelia was that age I probably would have been slightly bent out of shape because of the huge mess. There are so many little things that used to get under my skin when Cecelia was younger that don't bother me, really at all, with Delaney. For example, smearing dirty hands on the sliding glass door, digging in the garbage, digging in drawers, touching the VCR, throwing clean laundry all over the place, throwing the bowl/plate/fork/spoon/cup on the floor at every meal, etc, etc. It's not to say these things don't get old now and then (especially after a few hours of cleaning the house). But, I realize now that little children don't do these things intentionally to drive us nuts.

I must have been a very naive first time Mom because, for a while, I thought I was failing when CeCe dug inthe garbage after being told "hands out" 100 times in a row. I thought to myself, why isn't she following my instruction, am I saying it wrong, is she just being a pill??

In hindsight I can't believe I thought that. Now that CeCe is older and has learned I've realized that eventually kids outgrow that stuff and that, for some kids, it does take being told 5,000 times for it to sink in.

My friend Bonnie told me once about her oldest child that she wished she would have givin in just a little more, like let him sleep in her bed more. That has really resonated with me. It's so hard to know what to expect with your first born because you have no reference point.

So far, I have enjoyed being a mom for the second time because it's really so much more relaxing. It has also made me realize that even with Cecelia it's OK to wait for progress. Children are not programmable machines, they come with their own brains and personality and it's just our job to love, support and encourage every way we can.

Scott vs. Charmin: TP For Thought

This all started when I was doing daycare with my aunt at her house. My uncle Dennis is a very frugal man and he also happens to be the one who does the shopping for the house. He buys Scott. Now, for a good 2 years I made fun of them for buying the cheapo toilet paper. My cousins and I would laugh at them openly and put our noses in the air because we bought Charmin.
Well, one day I had to make a quick stop to buy TP and grabbed the small bundle of Scott, just to get us by until the next Target trip. Can I just tell you that those 4 rolls of toilet paper lasted like 3 months!!! You can roll and roll and roll, use the biggest handful possible and it never runs out! Scott is the bottomless TP.
I have changed my ways. Charmin is out and Scott is in.
Of course, now I am teased by houseguests (not to mention my smug aunt and uncle) about how I buy the cheap TP.

Cecelia, You're Breakin' My Heart

Cecelia had her first day of pre-school yesterday. I was fine, totally fine. She went in the classroom, no problem. However, during the parent orientation that we had simultaneously with the class, one of the moms read a book she'd published titled "I Love You So..."

I, literally, was biting my lip trying not to go in to the ugly cry. I mean, all of a sudden these thoughts of I hope she knows how much I love her, even if I'm upset sometimes and This is the begininning of her not needing me anymore! popped in to my head.

The thing about Cecelia is that she is me. She is so much like me. Her and I will always have that passionate relationship that you have with someone who's just like you. Man do I love that kid.

So, last night when she asked if she could come lay with me in my bed (despite the fact I vehemently told myself no more of that because she stays up to late and Bill and I get no privacy), I let her.

I realized that as much as it drives me crazy being needed all the time (Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom) I'm also addicted to it.

Tough Things to Admit

Being a mom comes with about 5,000 truckloads of guilt - on a good day. Today was no exception. I was trying to actually accomplish a task while the two girls played blissfully with their toys. Atleast that was the plan. I try not to get frustrated, but sometimes it's so unbelieveably hard not to. Cecelia was being "all right", but Delaney would not stop crying and screaming and getting in to things all because she wasn't stuck to my body. I feel that, at this age, she should be able to play for an hour or so with her sister while I get some things done around the house. Today I was going through my closet throwing out old clothes and changing out the seasonal ones. I got to the point where I had to go out on to the porch - by myself - and take five. I could still hear Delaney's muffled cries but the separation was necessary. On the one hand I was looking out in to the sunny blue sky and reminding myself how much I love the girls and how they are such blessings and that it wouldn't kill me to stop what I was doing and pay some more attention to them. But on the other hand (and this is the touch thing to admit) I was thinking how much easier it would have been to go through the closet if - gulp - the girls just weren't in the house.
Some of you new moms may find this deplorable, some working moms may sympathize, but you stay at home moms get it 100%.
I'll be beating myself up over my bad thoughts when I lay my head down tonight to thank God for another day with my babies.
I guess if I didn't have a bad day here or there I just wouldn't be human.
I hope you are all having a non-stressful, non-frustrating Monday.

Goofball Central

I have NO idea why my kids are such goofballs. I am such the opposite...mature, quiet, sensible and modest.

Anyway, here's some more pictures from this summer. We did the State Fair (I actually went twice). The girls loved it - especially Cecelia. The Little Hands Farm was her favorite and there are some cute pictures from that.

It's hard to believe that Cecelia is starting pre-school next week. I will probably cry. I've been taking care of CeCe since birth and have never had to leave her somewhere with people I don't know. I love the church she'll be at and I know it will be SO good for her (and probably for me too.)

I guess this all means summer is coming to an end. I'm okay with being in denial over that.

Just A Couple Things...

I haven't even had my morning coffee but there are a couple things I wanted to say this morning. First of which is to thank you all for being so kind to me and making such nice and complimentary comments on my blog. It's been a stressful few days (weeks, maybe?) so reading your comments brightens my day - even if I do feel quite undeserving most of the time.
Also, don't forget to link on to other blogs. The two on my site are brilliant and for those moms out there if you link on to Barbara and Nathan's and link on to Sarah Green's you can scroll down to read a beautiful letter she wrote to her future adult daughter. Some people are SO good with words!!!

Does A Zebra Ever Really Change It's Stripes?

As I enter in to my 30's (Okay! So I've already "entered") with two children and a husband I sometimes find myself asking that question we're all familiar with: Have I changed?
For anyone who knows me it is no secret that I really, really lived it up in my young adulthood. And I mean really. For me, in many ways I feel like I have had more than one life. There was that party girl who feared nothing and then this mature woman who emerged wanting to have children and grow a family. I have friends who went the other direction in the proverbial fork in the road. These are the people I live that WHAT IF through. Because I am married now and a mother does that mean I have changed or just that I made different choices?
Life has been really, really good to me and I am so grateful for the experiences that I have had so far. But, am I the only person that occasionally wonders what would have happened if I hadn't made the choices that brought me to where I am now? I guess some of you will tell me it is fate, others will say coincidence and free will. I guess I will never know.
Bottom line, I still feel the same, but am I?