Recently someone close to me said to someone else close to me "Well, not everyone can stay as busy as A.J." I felt that this was a compliment. I am definitely an active participant in my own life - and I prefer it that way.
We do have help when we need it, and I am very grateful for that. However, we don't have as much help as a lot of other families that we know. My mom is coming to visit this Friday (CAN'T WAIT!), but I haven't seen her since Christmas.
Most people don't understand how I do it without her here. It's simple. This is our life, our house and our kids. We do it because it's our responsibility and what we always wanted and worked very hard for.
Having said that I do have to openly admit that I can get jealous when I hear of other people's parents coming over to watch their kids while they get something done at home or calling just to see if they can have the kids for a night. I think to myself, what would I do if I had that kind of help and support right at my fingertips?
The truth is, it wasn't like that when I was a kid so I don't even know if that's what it would be like even if my parents did live 10 minutes away. For them, being a grandparent is completely different than being a parent. I guess, in my mind, that's how it should be.
My parents come for the weekend and get to truly enjoy my girls. Generally speaking, Bill and I change diapers, feed and bath and put to bed. That's our job. My parents play, tease, read to and give the girls special things - big and small.
When I need to clean out my office, I do it with the girls at home. When it's time to put a piece of furniture together or paint a wall, we do it with the girls at home. When we grocery shop or run errands, the girls come with. When we are getting the house together for a birthday party, baptismal reception, Christmas get together, or the like - guess what - the girls are here.
I don't really feel that this is any great feat. After all, I have Bill and we are a team.
It could be a lot worse.
But, just for the record, I am proud of what I can accomplish in a day all on my own, or with Bill.
I like that we are the only ones who have a real say in how to deal with our children. Mostly, I LOVE that when we do get time with my parents it's spent having fun (and, OK, getting a little...a LOT spoiled) - even if it's just for a few days.
3 comments:
Ahhh one of our many topics of conversation. I admire you very much. I think you are a strong and independent mother (well Bill can be quite helpful too, I guess lol) You Rock!! Plain and simple.
Although our parents are here and we have Grandma for daycare, we don't use family much for sitters. We just don't go out a whole lot. Part of it is that as a working mother, I don't feel good about going out a lot. And our families have NEVER offered to take our herd of children overnight. It's too much.
On the flip side, Wayne is always the first to fetch my kids popsicles, chicken soup, or powerade when they are sick. He mails stuff for me, and takes care of the piddly stuff that does make my life that much easier.
I commend you for the choices you have made, and that you do it all with a constant smile on your face.
That's an awesome post - AMEN. I often think of how much responsibility will be our plates when we decide to have a child (both families live far away too), but there are always friends for support and help - you have many for that! Amy
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